BDSM – How does pain amount to pleasure?
When we look at bondage and sadomasochism, it makes us wonder how people might find it enjoyable. After all it looks like a whole bunch of pain and humiliation; and who wants that when you can have normal, good-feeling sex? Well, the truth is that people wouldn’t be doing it if they didn’t enjoy it, right? So whatever we might see as being painful they actually see as enjoyable; so how do you get to that point where you enjoy a bit of pain as part of your own pleasure? Let’s take a look at some of the reasons why people get into BDSM, as it can help us to understand why.
Dominating someone
This one is relatively easy to get your head around, it is not too hard to understand why you would take pleasure from giving orders to someone. After all a lot of us get told what to do all day long at work, and it is nice to be able to flip the table around every now and again. This is probably why a lot of ordinary people are interested in BDSM dating sites like My BDSM Hookups. It gives them a chance to be on top of things for a change. When you dominate someone you feel in control; control which you don’t always have in other aspects of your life. So what about giving pain to someone?
Giving pain
This is an extension of dominating, but it is not as simple as just hurting someone; there is actually a whole code of conduct behind this. You don’t go full out and whip someone as hard as you can; there is a whole preparation that takes place first. You will talk to each other to let your boundaries be known, and you will come up with a safe word which will be said when the pain is getting to be too much. It is very much a collaborative effort that requires a lot of trust on both sides. Being able to trust someone with a whip is no small feature; and it should clue you up on the level of complicity that is required. To put it shortly; it’s a lot more than just hurting someone.
Being dominated
As much as most of us get bossed around at work, there are also those people who spend their whole lives bossing people around. Big company directors always have to be in control of every aspect of their business; there is not a minute that goes by where they don’t give orders. Maybe that gets to be too much over time, and one will just want to relinquish all that power. Let someone else take the reins for a bit; they can be in charge! Just because you’re the boss and you have to shout at people all day long doesn’t mean that you like it; and being dominated is the best way to let go of all that weight on your shoulders.
Receiving pain
This one goes along with the concept of trust and letting go. Pain is an intense feeling which can bring you to different places in your head as long as it is controlled. Life can make you numb, and the only way to feel alive sometimes is to feel pain. Pain makes us human, it exposes our vulnerabilities. Being in that state where people could take advantage of you but they don’t shows you can trust people; and those lessons can then be applied to real life. It can really let you go of certain burdens that you carry with you.
So to sum it, BDSM is a lot more than dominance, pain and costumes. The layers of psychology involved in the act are important, and when we look at it closer it starts to make more sense as to why someone would enjoy such thing. So maybe now that you know you might want to give it a try, spice up your life and let go of yourself!
July 6th, 2017
Posted in Articles
